“𝙱𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?”
My short answer, yes. My life as an independent entrepreneur single mom is a constant circle of exhaustion.
The long answer, learning my independence after a disastrous toxic codependent relationship was the toughest lesson I have ever learned. Letting down my independence means there is someone safe enough to allow them to be the leader I need. So yes, independence is exhausting but dependence on the wrong person could be disastrous. I am the parent 24/7, I get no breaks. I am the provider, the home owner, the everything. I own the table, the roof over the table, the food served at the table. (As well as clean the table, raise those who also sit at the table, etc. etc. etc.)
Is there an issue with being overly independent? Yes.
Is there a fine line between healthy independence and toxic independence? Yes.
A healthy independence is great. Being confident, self-aware, ambitious are just a few of these characteristics. Allowing your femininity to flourish while being independent is one of the greatest traits, it also takes a lot of courage to allow your femininity and independence to flourish together in the same space, to allow one with the other instead of one or the other.